The Lady-of-the-House has added more pink to the garden this year without her left hand knowing what her right hand was doing. She likes pink unconsciously.
Raspberry colored bamboo pots hold an odd collection of growing things. Do you see the tiny leafed herb? It is miniature basil. When the Lady-of-the-House spotted it at a nursery she thought is so cute she did an impulse-buy.
Although this funny bonsai-like basil is as deliciously fragrant as the regular basil she keeps near the kitchen door, she could only bring herself to pinch a few of its leaves so far for culinary use. She more frequently robs the regular basil for seasoning pasta, soup or herbed yeast rolls along with thyme and crushed fennel seed.
Behind the miniature basil is a strawberry scented geranium. The little flowers are interesting combination of pinks while the leaves offer an aroma of strawberry shortcake.
Most of her lavender plants over-wintered. Some did not. The bumblebees and dragonflies visit this little patch of potent blooms. Lavender is the traditional ingredient so appreciated in the soap and sachets of the Lady-of-the-House.
She and the Man-of-the-House are also reminded of other smells while they sit outside on the back patio. Living in a neighborhood of small working farms that use organic fertilizer supplied in abundance by black and white cows, periodically puts a much heavier scent in the air. The Man-of-the-House is usually first to notice the direction of the breeze when the fields are being “dressed” and notifies the Lady-of-the-House.
She is prepared, however, with the fragrant herbs that dot the borders of the patio. She snips off a leaf of this and that and keeps them in a shirt pocket while she stitches in a lawn chair. She hands a leaf or two to the Man-of-the-House.
During their conversations the Lady-of-the-House can often be heard to say one of the following:
“I think so, too.” (Her most common phrase.)
“I couldn’t agree with you more.”
“I couldn’t have said it better.”
“You’re right, there.”
“I understand, Darling.”
“How could anyone think otherwise?”
“That’s the most sensible thing I’ve heard in a long time.”
“That’s for sure.”
“I believe it.”
“You can say that again.”
“That sounds right.”
She doesn’t always know exactly what the Man-of-the-House is talking about, especially when it comes to the science fiction he reads, the customer complaints he finds posted about the inadequacies of a product he thought he was getting ready to purchase on-line, an article he found remarkable via facebook, or the strange techno-talk comprised of computer-vocabulary he and his son use.
But if it sounds favorable she will smile and show she is listening by adding the sweet fragrance of a positive, friendly remark. Sometimes Man-of-the-House will touch upon something that specifically resonates with her, some injustice that upsets her, news of how children are being mistreated, etc. Then she shows more feeling within her reply.
Other times she simply, in good conscience, cannot agree. She may say one of the following:
“I’m of a different opinion.”
“How can you say that?”
“Darling, that can’t possibly be true.”
“I wish I could believe you.”
“Isn't that an exaggeration?”
“Seemingly so, but I beg to differ.”
“We don’t see eye to eye, that’s all.”
This ushers in a lively discussion. The Man-of-the-House plays the polite salesman with his ideas. A little banter and debate adds interest to the day.
It was a different story when they were newly wed. The Man-of-the-House played the salesman more emphatically. He was an energetic young man then and worked as a traveling sales representative with a wide territory. He was, and still is, a natural salesman. On his sales’ calls he was always a polite and congenial conversationalist, genuinely caring about meeting a mutual benefit in the exchange, never about meeting a hard-and-fast quota impressed upon him by his higher-ups.
|The pink bags of lavender fit inside a partially lined pouch.|
At home, somehow, when it came to ideas in conversation, he was peeved if his young wife disagreed with him. And she was troubled if he disagreed with her. The fact that disagreements were rare made the occurrence seem all the more uncomfortable and out-of-place. The young Lady-of-House didn’t wish to be a wife who patronized - agreeing with her husband just to avoid conflict. Any and all conflict to this sensitive-plant of a girl (married at age 19) made her feel sick. But for the sake of truth the boat would just have to rock and they would have to steady themselves with kindness. “Always be kind and true” is the motto. . . . no matter what.
Perhaps she was being unreasonable but often a disagreement would require that she say, “I still don’t agree” several times even as the salesman tried to overcome her objections. He finally took her word for it. As time went on this married couple got more used to one another. A subtle disagreement was absorbed with less fuss. Today a discussion* doesn’t rock the boat the same way it once did.
It is a sweet fragrance when friends agree. But on the rare moments when they do differ, they can always differ with Christian kindness – that is . . . if they don’t take themselves too seriously.
*Not to be confused with wifely submission.
Thanks for stopping by.
I hope the Lady-of-the-House put a smile in your day with her flowers, cross stitched-on-linen sachets and a jovial, handy hint on the marriage relationship.